SEE THIS WISDOM!
Let me say this.
I've seen some people abroad lamented on how their people back home wanted to suck them dry.
I think there's a bad mentality that we have to correct.
That mentality is that ABROAD is always Green land.
It is this mentality that's making droves of Africans take illegal means to escape Africa for Europe.
You must have watched international news and heard of Africans that disguised themselves as sheep, Arab women or those who hid near a ship's rudder to escape abroad.
Countless stories of risks like these abound. Many have died and have fallen victims of several abuses through this route only.
It is this same mindset that's making family members at home believe that once they can send one of them abroad, the family will become well off.
That's not always the case.
That the family will be well off is still hinged on some other factors after that.
But irrespective, let people at home stop being latchers and suckers.
I am not saying your sibling, relative or friend abroad can't help you but mind how you relate with them and ask for help.
Don't be a frequent at their door.
I'll rather that you don't even ask at all.
Show yourself a worthy man. Prove your worth.
Apply yourself to hard work here in Naija. If that person abroad sees how you carry yourself - your determination, hard work, discipline and the fact that you're not like others, I assure you that he might likely invest in you and take a better liking to you.
This is even of more importance to those that their family member who's abroad is their younger brother or sister.
Now, how should you relate with your younger sibling that's abroad ?
Even if he has the money indeed, don't become a beggar to him. Don't put yourself under him by putting all of your family challenges and responsibilities on him. Disallow your wife from calling him frequently especially to notify him of your needs.
Whenever your kids speak with him or her, tell them not to pester them for things.
Stop forcing the hands of such people by telling your kids to ask things from them.
That's nonsense. In a more blatant way, that's bullshit. And it is.
Rather, conduct yourself very well.
Relate with him very well without offence. Let your family do the same. Rejoice and mourn with them as their situations might call for. Don't envy him. Pray for him. Share lessons from the Bible and life's experiences with him. Tell him to invest his money and secure his future.
Money flies as time does.
Let him or her see that my big brother loves me and sees to my welfare.
Let him be the one to ask you (as a responsible person that he is) what you would need or how he could help you.
That's more dignifying!
I don't think anything of your life is hidden from him or her since you have good relationship together. So, if you're struggling and you've only been enduring, he'll know.
And if your help doesn't or couldn't come from someone as close to you as that (until you ask and pester him), then let it be.
God might need to find you another vessel.
That is if you're the elder here and he is the younger.
If you're the younger asking from your elders, they know how to tell you you're becoming irresponsible without constraint or sounding disrespectful.
Follow that rule!
Especially if he's married, if you don't master this wisdom (when you're the older), the wife might see you as her rival and sooner or later, you won't like it.
Position yourself for things to be done to you in honour therefore.
While a lot of people are busy raving for money to eat from these people, someone who doesn't come often might win the favour of being invested in because he or she would have been seen in the light of being able to handle long term investment.
This address also goes to parents.
You're not wrong desiring returns from your children.
However, learn to have them breathe.
Why did I say this?
I learnt of a case where a man in one particular church was demanding thousands of pounds from his son for the celebration of a chieftain title in the church.
At day's end, the son sent nothing but rather spoke and convinced the father out of it in humility.
It was like wanting to rip someone off despite the untold hardship they pass through before making that money.
You think money grows on trees when you are abroad right?
You're joking!
It takes hard work. At times, it takes taking a humbling job with odd working hours.
Because of all these, let us be fair and responsible.
Be someone that they do things for out of honour.
Let your son/daughter look at you and say, "Daddy deserves to be celebrated on this birthday."
Let all of us quickly discern and live in the light of this truth.
@ M'Wings.
