THE TRUTH ABOUT STOLEN WATERS
Rarity of a thing can increase its value. Do you know that?
Why is it that before a young man or woman marries, when he/she thinks about sex, his conclusion is, "oh, I'll have much of that!" He even exaggerates how much sex he'll have. He or she thirsts and anticipates sex.
If he/she is a Christian holding to chastity, he or she will anticipate in high hopes when that time will come and he could let loose the reins.
It happened to everyone who's now married. There was a time you wondered if it'll ever be your turn. A time when you thought you'll die like this and not unburden. But now, you are married. All the things you anticipated to see or taste, you've seen and tasted over and over. It has gotten to its peak.
Previously, nudity of the opposite sex used to be a wonder and a miracle to you. However, it has been fully disclosed and disrobed before you. It's no longer a mystery. Previously, the thought of envisaging nakedness would wake you up and you would immediately need to cut it quit so it doesn't become lust or sin.
But now, you probably have someone by your side (in wife or husband) who sleeps naked.
So, what used to delight you at anticipation because you never had it , though it never loses its spell doesn't hold you spell bound like before. That's why the Bible says:
Proverbs 9:17, KJV
"Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant".
Do you know what that verse means?
It's referring to days when some of us secretly went behind to taste the 'forbidden fruit' because to them, "I couldn't hold it any longer".
They couldn't wait. That anticipated 'joy' they have so much longed and waited for became so overwhelming that it overwhelmed them in the present. So, they went behind, tasted it and called it DELIGHTFUL or SWEET, because it was a fruit they only tasted once in a while.
But now, you've over-flogged sex. You've had it over and over. Except the way of nature comes upon you, sex doesn't look attractive to you anyhow if you're married. But when it was scarce or when you haven't had any, it seemed the only genuine food on planet earth.
Now, you don't engage in the anticipation of the singles or occupy yourself with their many thoughts on how they'll do it. As for you, you're not a first timer. It can gyrate a first timer or someone who rarely enjoys that privilege but not you again.
It will not always hold you like it used to hold you or like it's holding those who are anticipating it.
Why bread eaten in secret is sweet is because it's not bread so OFTEN eaten!
Doing it for the first time has an experience and a delight to it. That's why ladies rarely can forget who de-flowers them.
Now, I have a counsel for married women or even men. Ensure you spice yourself up and not available always.
Though married, practice selected withdrawals that can't endanger you or your spouse. Let me explain my intention. Stolen bread is sweet because that fellow couldn't always have enough of that bread. So, the little he was able to steal, he felt it to the marrow and cherished its deliciousness as he could only have little of it. It was not over-flogged nor was he overfed with it. It was regulated bread!
It's good for a woman to be accessible in bed (to sleep naked). However, don't always be like an open suitcase or book at home. A closed suitcase gives the onlooker room for his imagination to roam wild towards finding what contents are in the suitcase.
Roaming, delightfulness and anticipation (of what to be delivered is POUND to death) when you're always naked at home. Your man sees all at a glance and his imagination is satisfied while his desire fizzles out so soon.
You should be able to sustain him, carry him on and hold him in your courts for long.
So, at times, you might only need to wear some revealing clothes. You're dressed but you're offering a mix of sight and puzzle to him - a combination of darkness and light. He could see shadows of things underneath the clothes but he couldn't see it well or see all.
So, the desire to explore will be aroused.
He'll be troubled at that sight and want to see it more clearly. From there, lead him down or on to the chamber.
That's why there's night wear. Several nighties there be that you can use to trouble, shoot at sight and arouse your man.
You're married and you see each other daily. You must employ means to return the mystery of "stolen waters are sweet and bread eaten in secret is pleasant" to your couple life.
Another way to do this is to take occasional breaks from each other. Life has this naturally beaten into it.
At times, your spouse may need to visit their parents. Let her/him go. It may be to attend a meeting, seminar or conference far from home. Let it.
There should be time to miss each other so you can know each other's value and appreciate each other better or often.
When the woman you haven't seen for a week returns, if you're not an imbecile of a man, your attitude should be different to her arrival.
How can your man check out of the country or town, make a return without planning a special night moment to celebrate it? Even, you can have a special welcome meal & make the house look different for their arrival. Those little acts will pass your subtle messages to them and get them ready for the D-act!
So, occasional withdrawal or separation in marriage can strengthen it rather than overburdening each of the pairs in it.
I hate it when I'm overcrowded. My wife knows. I hate it when I don't have my time to spend alone at home. That I'm married doesn't mean I have to be talking, holding or be at my wife's presence every time. I need my time alone. That's part of the time I spend with God, use to meditate, do my 'silly' things and laugh at myself.
My wife knows that when I'm way overcrowded, once I enter the bathroom or rest room, I won't come out on time. Why? I want to be alone. I need time alone. Time alone even without spending it with God refreshes you. It helps you to catch your breath, reflect over life or your day.
Many are the sorrows of women who keep raising children. They'll rarely have time alone which can result in untidiness, scattering, depression and not enjoying life.
Me, I do encourage my wife to travel. Take Akosile and travel. Go and enjoy yourself at your uncle's place or family house. Is there a function somewhere, go?
Those times they are not around will give me TIME ALONE at HOME ALONE! I like it when I'm alone. You too will except you haven't found a purpose for solitude in your life. To be present always in a relationship could lead to certain IRRITATION!
I tell you, you can overstep your boundaries and that's because you've overdosed your spouse with your presence. So, they can't breathe!
They're crying I CAN'T BREATHE by seeking to stay in a corner all alone but because you couldn't interpret it correctly, you'll keep badgering them until they retort or bark you off. At that point, you can be offended. If a lady, she could close up like a clamp. So guys, do this with discernment.
May God help our marriages not to lose the dimension of cherishing and sparkling we once had in courtship. You know how you were jolloffed whenever you set your eyes on your wife/husband (then your fiance or fiancee in courtship).
It was as if she shouldn't go back to her parents again. It was as if you should start living together onward from that moment. Everything he or she did transported you. You wondered at everything and it won you over. Let me ask, "what has changed now?"
You've been over fed and overdosed with her/his presence. So, you're no longer moved. That's why you no longer engage in playful touches in the house. That's why you're not grabbing each other anyhow again. That's why you're no longer doing space exploration again.
You've been spoon-fed until you became fed up! You've eaten too much and now you're vomiting his/her presence.
That's the problem and that's why it's the bird you don't have at hand that you're now fantastically thinking after or desiring.
You think your spouse has now lost all power or spell to intrigue and delight. You think after a child or two, she has grown old to play the former tricks. No! Never! You think now that he has a pot belly which was your handiwork, he has now lost his once strong potency and magical wand.
What changed or got damaged were your mindsets.
That's why both of you are beginning to think it's the grass outside that's now green. Look, the one inside is still lush and ready for play as well. See that and cultivate each other.
In the midst of the right measures, things don't fail. It always plays right out well.
© Olusola ADEJUMO,
M'Wings.
