HOW TO ASSURE A WOMAN: Eliminating Fear & Insecurity in Relationships

HOW TO ASSURE A WOMAN

We all want security. It has even become a great need in our time. From the churning out of armoured vehicles to the recruitment of professional guards, all point to the need for security of life especially.

We want job security also. No employee wants to be in danger of being laid off at the leisure of the employer just like that. You crave for permanence and none making you afraid. If you have the secret fear of losing your job any time soon, it will affect your performance on that job. You can never never give your best. How can you be on a job where the threat you're hearing often is, "I'll just sack you!"

I've found out one of the greatest needs of women also. It is security. Is your wife or fiancée secured in that relationship? If she's unsure of you but doubtful you're still not hers, then, both of you can't build together. 

When a woman loves you, she'll lose her heart to you. She'll personally sacrifice for you. Women don't like competition. Your wife or your fiancée don't want another female's name, personality or description to overshadow hers. Leave that space. She even don't want your friends or colleagues to take her place in you. Not even your job. Are we saying be careless with what will feed you all? No. Just ensure in all you do, she's the one the spotlight is always on in your life. Make her have rights and a thick sense of laying claim on you anytime she wants. Nothing gives a woman importance, value and confidence than if her car develops a fault and she could call you while you leave all promptly to join her there; replace her vehicle with yours while you battle with the problem. You have just told her, "I only live for you." If you're out with friends and she can lay hold on you and have you come back home just to be with her, you have purchased for yourself a testimony and witness that money can't buy. You may get home to find out there is nothing in particular she was calling you for though she sounded somehow serious on phone. Do you know what she wants? Fellowship that comes through seeing your presence - that masculine father figure round her and the children. There's no time to speak into the heart of a woman than when you're stroking her. Just whisper into her ears 'I'm yours and yours only.' She may say, 'awwwwn?' You know, as if to question your integrity on that but don't worry, she already believes that. It is only when you've made your wife a Thomas through consistent and over the years acts of perforation that she'll request you to prove it. Don't be surprised if she asks you to swear by requesting for another covenant (one she will now solely oversees). Look at these verse.

Hebrews 6:16, KJV

"16 For men verily swear by the greater: and an oath for confirmation is to them an end of all strife."

While we were much younger, I'd personally asked people to swear to end the strife or doubt in my heart over matters. At times, we bit the coin or the paper money. We sworn in the names of gods as requested for by the ones whose strife we wanted to end. Oath is for confirmation and until then, no consolation is received on the said matter. There will always be reasons to be afraid or anticipate probabilities. "I'm not saying it is not so as you've said but let me be assured it's so by your giving me an oath." That's that thing!

Don't get to a place where your wife because of being perforated by insecurity which comes upon her overtime will require you to swear by another thing outside the marriage covenant that is binding on you both. It shows you've been failing. I tell you, a woman can go any length to possess a man for herself especially if she's the serious type who wants to keep her husband and is zealously jealous to protect her territory and have you for her children only [...and she's correct. That's how it should be]. Don't be surprised if she brought out a thing from her wardrobe and asks you to do some rituals with her. To her, the marriage covenant can't hold again. She has to improvise and lock you with her through another means. If you're not careful, that's the beginning of demonic entrance into your family and from there, your wife can by witchcraft begin to lord it over you. Off course if you refuse, you've given her a more solid ground to continue to believe in what she has already come to believe of you. Your only escape is to open up to your pastor who will call both of you for settlement. At day's end, you'll see you pushed her where she became insecure until she needed security which she sought in what the heathen believes strikes down at once when violated. Only after settlement and clarity of all things will she be able to trust you again. Why is this education coming? There may be men who are ignorantly doing what makes their wives suspicious and doubtful of them.

But when you pass through the correct road of not making her afraid and she is not indeed; you can measure her being confident you're hers at times by this sense of security that will make your wife treat you like her child or what she has obtained and she's just sure 'it is my thing.' Don't be offended. That's how to gauge she's secured and assure you're not out of hand. She can just boldly call you by your name or command you to do something. But you'll know that it is not to insult you. That act comes from being secured that I have rights to turn you wherever I want [smiles]. At least, we own ourselves. No third party.

Please, make her feel esteemed, really appreciated and loved. If you're a speaker, often speak of her in admiring words in front of your audience. Let it be known to many that she's the only queen in your castle. If her own soul knows this right well, there won't be any cause for shaking.

The Bible says,

Job 11:18-19, KJV 

"18 And thou shalt be SECURE, because there is hope; yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and thou shalt take thy REST in SAFETY. 19 Also thou shalt LIE DOWN, and NONE shall make thee AFRAID; yea, many shall make suit unto thee."

Contextually, that place speaks of clearing oneself from any unrighteousness with God as to be able to enjoy those listed benefits. Meanwhile, it's relevant to our study.

It is God's will that you will feel secured. One must be assured no danger or harm can strike one suddenly when one is taking his rest. Your wife must be able to take her rest also, close her two eyes, put her legs on the table without a beating heart. Any who has lost rest is troubled or has an unknown fear. That fear of losing one's spouse is an evil fear. If it's demonically sponsored, I break its hold off you. 

If it's humanly caused, the spouse concerned should take practical steps in eradicating it. Your family may not enjoy stability until your wife is made the possessor of the entire you. Women like it when they know they're in control of their husbands. "In control" here doesn't mean leading or giving him instructions. It means being assured he's for her wholly and his life is sold out to look after her only, their children and not any other contestant. They're verily assured when your action, speech or demeanour don't suggest they are strangers. If she feels this good about you, look, she's secured and you have passed the test of trust.

Also, don't arouse her suspicion or jealousy sense in wanting to make her know your value or appreciate you the more. Your own relationship may not survive that. Some did and they still made it; some did and they failed. If you make your partner jealous, untold evil can penetrate your family indescribably.

In your house, let it be known that she's the only Mount Zion which can't be moved. Even in your cracking jokes, never say 'she will one day go to her place or know her level.' Even, if she refuses you sex or becomes stiff at times, don't recompense her or force her to be willing by sputtering, 'thank God, you're thankfully not the only one.' That may take a minute to say but may take eternity to erase. 

On all her special days, have her in remembrance and start the celebration of these her days ahead of time. Drop hints around of those days and really make her loved by doing something new or surprising. 

Finally, don't forget your wife or spouse is your real only reward on earth. So, give time and attention to take pleasure in her/him.

Olusola ADEJUMO, M'Wings.

Morning Wings Ministry, Nigeria. 

+234 81 37 04 68 12.

morningwingministry@gmail.com

10/08/2021